About:
A FREE carnival themed, Klown infested, home operated, haunted house, located in Twentynine Palms, California. Not for the weak at heart or small children. Please feel free to bring the whole neighborhood. However due to the very nature of this attraction, it is advised that children under the age of 8 advance to the actual haunt but rather stay in the safety of KIDDIELAND Where they will be given candy and a free hand-out (what the handout is, has yet to be determined), and we will even watch the kiddies for you so that you can experience the 3rd degree of terror for yourself. Also, due to fog and flashing lights, it is advised that those with respritory and/or heart problems and epileptics, do not attend. All of the above WILL be allowed in attendence, but I hold absolutely no liability for any aggravation of these conditions.History:
N 1988, I DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO GIVE UP TRICK-OR-TREATING, AND BEGIN MY TRUE PASSION IN LIFE... SCARING THE BAJESUS OUT OF PEOPLE! THIS BEING MY FIRST YEAR, AND ME BEING ONLY 13, I HAD A BUDGET OF $0 SO AS A RESULT I MADE A DEAD PUNK ROCKER COSTUME OUT OF SOME OLD CLOTHES THAT I DIDN'T WEAR ANYMORE, AND A DUMMY (IT WAS A PIECE OF CRAP WITH BASEBALL BATS FOR LEGS, AND 2 LITER BOTTLES FOR ARMS) USING OLD CLOTHES AND AN OLD MASK WE HAD AROUND THE HOUSE FOR YEARS.. AFTER I FINISHED I LAID ON THE PORCH AND WAITED FOR THE TOT'S TO COME UP TO GET THEIR CANDY. WHEN THEY DID, I WOULD JUMP UP SCREAMING. THIS TURNED OUT TO BE VERY EFFECTIVE AND EVEN MORE FUN. SO AS A RESULT I DECIDED THAT I WOULD DO EVERYTHING I COULD TO SCARE TOT'S ON HALLOWEEN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. IN 1989 I HAD A BUDGET OF ABOUT $15, SO I WENT TO SEARS AND BOUGHT A $10 QUIET RIOT MASK (THE ONE FROM THE COVER OF "METAL HEALTH" THE METAL LOOKING ONE) I WORE THAT WITH THE SAME CLOTHES I HAD WORN THE YEAR PRIOR, AND LAID ON THE PORCH ONCE AGAIN, DOING THE SAME ROUTINE AS THE YEAR PRIOR. NOT MUCH TO TALK ABOUT REALLY JUST MORE OF THE SAME FROM 1988. IN 1990 WAS ABLE TO PUT TOGETHER A COMPLETE GRIM REAPER COSTUME. MY NEW DISPLAY CONSISTED OF THE GRIM REAPER ON THE PORCH, NEXT TO IT WAS A HEADLESS CORPSE, AND IN THE GRASS WAS A DUMMY THAT HAD ITS CHEST RIPPED UP. I ALSO MADE A DUMB BUY, I BOUGHT ONE OF THOSE 60 WATT BLACK LIGHT BULBS THAT YOU CAN BUY AT TOYS R US AND K-MART. IF YOU HAVE NEVER BOUGHT ONE OF THESE...DON'T!!! THEY LIGHT UP PURPLE, BUT THAT IS IT. THEY DON'T MAKE ANYTHING GLOW. NOW THIS YEAR I STOOD STILL UNTIL THEY GOT TO THE PORCH THEN I JUMPED OUT AT THEM. THIS WAS THE FIRST YEAR I MADE SOMEONE CRY. IN 1991, I HAD THE BEST HALLOWEEN UP TO THAT POINT IN TIME. THIS YEAR I HAD TWO DUMMIES (AT LEAST THEY WERE SOMEWHAT CONVINCING). THIS WAS A TIE FOR THE BIGGEST YEAR FOR ME HUMAN SUPPORT-WISE. THIS WAS THE YEAR THAT 3 PEOPLE HELPED ME SCARE THE MOST PEOPLE UP TO THAT POINT IN TIME. THERE WAS A WEREWOLF, A DEAD PRIEST, AND 2(?) JASONS (I WAS ONE OF THEM). THE BASIC IDEA THIS YEAR WAS TO SCARE THE HOLY HELL OUT OF THE KIDS. TO ACHEIVE THIS I HID IN THE CAB OF THE TRUCK IN THE DRIVEWAY AND LUNGED AT THEM THROUGH THE OPEN WINDOW, (NO ONE SAW THIS COMING) THE WEREWOLF HID IN THE OPEN GARAGE (PREDICTABLE BUT STILL EFFECTIVE) AND THE OTHER JASON HID WHEREVER HE COULD.THIS WAS "THE YEAR OF THE CRY" IF THERE EVER WAS ONE, HAVING MADE 17 GIRLS AND 12 BOYS CRY. THAT IS NOT EVEN MENTIONING THE FACT THAT "HOMEY THE CLOWN" SAID "FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUTTA HERE!!" ALL IN ALL THIS WAS THE BEST PRE-ADULT HALLOWEEN FOR ME! IN 1992, ATTEMPTED TO ELEVATE THINGS TO AN ALL NEW LEVEL OF FRIGHT, BUT ALAS, IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE. DESPITE MY NEW LEATHERFACE TYPE COSTUME, AND THE FACT THAT I WOULD CHASE PEOPLE DOWN THE STREET. IT RAINED THAT YEAR SO NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE WANTED TO TRICK OR TREAT. SO, IT WAS AN OVERALL DISAPPOINTING FOR ME AS ONLY ABOUT 35 PEOPLE VENTURED OUT INTO THE RAIN. (THE RAIN RUINED MY WHOLE DISPLAY) N 1993, I WOULD PURCHASE MY GREATEST COSTUME UP TO THAT POINT IN TIME, MICHAEL MYERS. THIS WAS A TERRIFYING COSTUME FOR MOST PEOPLE, AS MICHAEL MYERS IS BY FAR, THE MOST REALISTIC MOVIE PSYCHOPATH. IT WAS THIS YEAR THAT 2 FRIENDS AND I, PUT ON A SHOW THAT THE NEIGHBORS STILL TALK ABOUT TO THIS DAY! IN THE SHOW, MICHAEL MYERS, JASON, AND FREDDY KRUGGER ALL DID BATTLE, AND IN A MAJOR UPSET, JASON WALKED AWAY IN VICTORY. THIS YEAR IS ALSO THE ONLY YEAR THAT I DID NOT PERFORM FROM MY OWN HOUSE, AS MY BEST FRIEND HAD A HELL OF A DISPLAY (ALTHOUGH I PERSONALLY THINK IT WAS TOO "HAPPY"). I WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL IN MY ATTEMPT TO ACT AS PART OF THE SCENERY. I WAS POSITIONED BETWEEN INANIMATE FRANKENSTEIN AND DRACULA, AND AS PEOPLE GOT ON THE PORCH, I WOULD USE MY TOP SECRET NOISE MAKER (DON'T ASK ME WHAT IT IS, BECAUSE I WON'T TELL YOU!) AND JUMP OUT AT THEM (THIS WAS MY FIRST YEAR MAKING SOMEONE DROP THEIR CANDY AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING THEN CRYING). WE WERE GOING TO DO ANOTHER WALK THROUGH HAUNTED HOUSE, BUT DUE TO MY OBSCENE WORK SCHEDULE (12 hours a day/7days a week) THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! SO AS A RESULT, WE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO OUR GRASS ROOTS AND DO A YARD DISPLAY. IN THE FRONT YARD WAS THE GRAVEYARD AND IN THE BUSH WAS JASON WITH A STROBE LIGHT (*MENTAL NOTE* STROBE LIGHTS DON'T LAST 6 YEARS, GET A NEW BULB). AS PEOPLE WALKED UP, THE WINDOW DISPLAYED 2 CLOWNS. ONE REAL AND ONE FAKE. ONE CLOWN WAS STANDING WHILE THE OTHER WAS SITTING. THERE WERE BLACK WALLS MADE WITH FLORESCENT POLKA DOTS ON THEM. OF COURSE THIS WAS LIGHTED WITH A BLACKLIGHT. HOWEVER,IN THE 2 WEEKS THAT IT WAS DISPLAYED PRIOR TO HALLOWEEN, BOTH CLOWNS WERE DUMMIES. SO NO ONE EXPECTED ONE OF THEM TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AT THEM.ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT, I (ONE OF THE CLOWNS) TOOK ONE OF THE DUMMIES DOWN AND USED IT'S CLOTHES. I ALSO CAREFULLY TOOK IT'S EXACT POSITION IN THE WINDOW. THE OTHER DIFFERENCE FROM THE PREVIOUS WEEKS WAS THAT WE REMOVED THE ACTUAL WINDOW. (TO MAKE FOR A MUCH BETTER AND REALISTIC SCARE) IF THEY STILL WANTED THEIR CANDY AFTER THAT (NOT MANY DID), THEY WENT TO THE DOOR WHERE WE HAD THE ENTRY WAY MADE INTO A VERY SMALL ROOM WITH BLOODY WALLS, A BLACKLIGHT, BODY PARTS, CHUCKY AND ANOTHER CLOWN. THIS CLOWN WAS ALSO REAL.THIS CLOWN STAYED SCRUNCHED DOWN ON THE FLOOR WITH THE CANDY BOWL BETWEEN HIS LEGS. MOST PEOPLE DIDN'T KNOW WHETHER HE WAS REAL OR FAKE, ADDING AN ADDITIONAL SCARE WHEN HE MOVED, JUMPED OR SCREAMED. THAT'S ALL WE HAD THIS YEAR, BUT GIVEN THE TIME WE HAD, WE DID GOOD. AFTERALL, THIS IS THE FIRST YEAR SOMEONE ACTUALLY PUNCHED ME! NOT TO MENTION THAT WHEN A SPRINKLER GETS BROKE AND IT COMES ON AUTOMATICALLY, THERE BY FLOODING YOUR YARD, IT TENDS TO PUT A DAMPER ON YOUR NIGHT. IN FACT THE SPINKLER FIASCO MADE ME WRITE A LITTLE JINGLE!|
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